Invisible Mother

A friend sent this to my inbox this week (thanks, Joy!) and I thought it might lift someone else's spirits as it has lifted mine this week, so I wanted to share . . . It's a bit lengthy, but a good read of encouragement as to how we are affecting our children's and others' lives around us, even when we may not know it.

I'll be back tomorrow with Beate's Weekend Sketch Challenge and then a surprise announcement for you on Monday!

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It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this?  Can you tie this?  Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ...

Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in.  I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.

I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe.  I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book.  And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.  These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.  They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.  The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof?  No one will ever see it.' . . . 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.'  That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself.  I just want him to want to come home.  And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're going to love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.  And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM!"

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Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know...I just did.

I hope this encourages you when the going gets tough as it sometimes does.

We never know what our finished products will turn out to be because of our perseverance.

Comments

[Tiffany]

1.

Ok Sharon, that made me tear up and I'm at work right now! :)

That is beautiful and I can relate to the Invisible Mom. Thanks for sharing that. It's a great perspective to keep in mind.

God bless all Moms!

[Melissa D. (SCS honeybee7896)]

2.

That is just beautiful. Thanks for sharing that with all of us. I know I am going to send it to all of the wonderful mother's I know.

[Lacey Stephens]

3.

Thank you so much for sharing. Because right now I am home with a sick child, sick myself with a head cold. But I had to pick my other child up from school because my husband is out of town! Thank you for lifting MY spirit today!
~Lacey Stephens
www.handstampedbylacey.typepad.com

[Deborasays]

4.

Thank you for sharing such a wonderful story. I have no children of my own, but I have 32 nephews, nieces, and great nephews and great nieces. It used to drive me crazy when my sisters would just at the drop of a hat, ask me to babysit, or bring the kids over. I felt like the invisible "sister" that was always there to be taken for granted. But now that many of my nieces and nephews have children of their own, they bring them over to me, and ASK me to babysit telling me that they want their kids to have the same love, attention, and discipline, I gave them. In an age when "paddling" is not politically correct, I still believe God made their little behinds padded enough to endure an occassional "attitude adjustment" and every child that comes into my house knows that I paddle, but not unless they break any of my rules. Who knew that kids would be so greatful for structure and discipline. But no matter how invisible I feel at times, this article reminds me that even though I don't see the "cathedral" right now, someone will admire it years later! I am so touched by this article.

God Bless,
Debi

[Adair]

5.

This is so beautiful! Thank you for the inspiration.

[Tricia]

6.

Thanks, Sharon - this was so encouraging!

[Sue B]

7.

Sharon,

What a wonderful read. Sometimes we have to read this inspirational stuff to understand the bigger picture. Thanks for sharing.

Sue

[chrismott]

8.

Sharon~ This was beautiful and I will share with the oodles of Moms including mine. Thanks for sharing..Chris

[Karen M (DE)]

9.

Thanks Sharon. I know you posted this just for me today. Hugs.

[Jennifer Scull]

10.

just exactly what I needed to read/hear at this exact moment! thank you from the bottom of my heart! :)
Jennifer

[Terri D.]

11.

Wow Sharon, thank you so much for sharing this on your wonderful blog. I needed to read this today. I think we all can relate to this in varying degrees. It's a blessing to know that all the seemingly little things we do as mothers are seen as gems in the eyes of the Lord. Reading this is like a breath of fresh air...Blessings to you for sharing it.

[Alicia Chaparro]

12.

Thank you so much for posting this! I've been feeling just like the "invisible mom" a lot lately and this really gave me the lift I needed.

God bless you and thank you!
Alicia

[Lynn]

13.

OK, now I need a tissue. This is so beautiful, thank you for sharing.

[Karen]

14.

Thank you so much for sharing that! What a message and how encouraging! I can't wait to share that with my daughter who recently became a mom and feels a bit like she's becoming "invisible."

[Stacy]

15.

Thanks Sharon.
A friend of mine sent this to me just two days ago. There are sooooooooooooooooooo many times I feel this way. Especially lately, as my DD JUST entered MIDDLE SCHOOL this year. She needs me less and less every year it seems. A good thing on one hand, not so great on the other. Bittersweet.
My son is still only 7 and I'm not always invisible to him, which is nice.......but I know that day is coming.

However, even w/reading this story and having these lonely feelings from time to time this year, my kid can still suprise me.

She had her film shown at a Summer Film Festival here in town over the past weekend.
When asked about how the kids found out about the program, etc., my kid took the mic and said, "My WONDERFUL Mom told me about it and signed me up." Wow!!!!
Wonderful + Mom!!.....Actually used together.
And, for that moment, I was no longer invisible. :-)

Sorry to be long winded.
The timing of this story hitting my inbox twice this week was perfect!!

Thanks for sharing with us all.
Cheers,
Stacy

[MarilynY]

16.

And this is why mothers are called saints. I believe most mothers go through this phase wondering 'where am I?'. From pregnancy to adulthood, we mothers are building a person and the fruitful end result is a good kind person. Our reward? happiness.
That was a great story you posted....deeply thoughtful and heartfelt.

[Diane S]

17.

Hi Sharon,
I had received the same email from a GF about a year ago, right after I had just sent off my oldest son for his first year at college.The lovely story bought tears to my eyes and all I could think of was that I had hoped I raised my son up right so that he would want to come home for that Thanksgiving dinner. A year has passed since then and I can tell you that the many times I have felt invisible are still there, but just not nearly as much!
Thanks for sharing with all your readers.

[Carrie]

18.

Thanks for the much needed uplift!

[Janet S]

19.

Thanks for sharing. As a SAHM at the moment it really spoke volumes to me.

[jbear]

20.

Wow is right. I need two tissues. Thank you for posting this story. I will pass it on.

[txscrapaddict]

21.

I've been blessed to havw this shared with me previously! It never loses it's impact or meaning....

[Kathy]

22.

Thanks for sharing such a wonderful story. God knows just when we need to read or hear something. Thank you again.

[Charmaine]

23.

What a great story. Even though I don't have children I can relate to a degree. I sometimes feel invisible as well...taking care of a husband, a house and a full time job is hard work at times...and does not seem appreciated or noticed. Thanks! I guess in a way...I too am building a cathedral...my home :)

Charmaine

[Laura "Huffman]

24.

that was very touching. some days. but when you're there for them when they really need you, it is so worth it.
i love being home for my family, but it does get hard. thanks for the perspective.

[CherylQuilts at SCS]

25.

Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece! Like Debi above, I have no children myself, just stepchildren and two grandsons, and I so agree with her in many ways. I plan to email this to our daughter-in-law. I think she may really find this encouraging especially now. Thanks, Sharon!

[tracy harp]

26.

Great words of encouragement at the right time! Thanks for sharing Sharon.

[Toni K (koolnkrafty)]

27.

Thanks for posting this. Awesome!

[Konnie]

28.

Sharon this is just wonderful. I'm passing this on to my friends and daughter. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. It sure touched my heartstrings.

God Bless,
Konnie

[kimmie kaye]

29.

Thank you

I needed that today, a tear and a smile.

[Chris D]

30.

What a gift to hear . We all do our best in our path of life,be it by choice or circumstances. God watches over us each day.I am thankful for my family.

[Michelle R]

31.

Oh my gosh....what a touching story (sob!). I have a very dear friend who needs to read this right now, so I'm going to pass it on to her. Maybe it will help her get pespective on what's happening in her life. Thanks so much for sharing this!

[Suzanne Dean]

32.

I love this--how many of us moms feel like this every now & again! Just beautiful and I'm sending it out to all the great Mom's I know including my mom!

TFS--
Suzanne Dean

[Mary Lou Kemp]

33.

Well now I'm blubbering....I can remember many times (and many moons ago)how I too felt invisible. This is a lovely story and very touching. My children are grown and gone but I do have three beautiful grandchildren. Maybe I can tell their parents that they may not know it now but they are building cathedrals.

[thethinker]

34.

Thanks for the story. It puts everything into a "right" perspective and I needed that today. Thanks!!

Edith

[Kacey]

35.

WOW! Tears - WOW! I found myself just having those same thoughts today! I needed that! Thank you :-)